Dragour's Xanga

October 2009

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 05:04:58 GMT

Life has been so rough on me. If anyone cares then just google my full name, Randall Surmanek. I beat the odds against it but still, Of anyone in my family, i'm certainly the black sheep now if I wasn't before. I've soured my name. What good company could look past the shit that I've been involved in now that my name made newspapers because of something like that.

I need certain old friends back. They know who they are but they don't have any heart for me anymore and probably never will again. There are only a few people in this world I could feel comfortable talking with sincerely at this point in my life. My desired superhero power would be time travel. I know I wouldn't fuck up the space time continuum because I would just change one thing about my past, one day. 4/14/04. It's the day I went down the wrong path for my heart and soul.

Ouch

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 16:47:40 GMT

My back hurts! I did alot of yard work for my grandparents yesterday and I think I've thrown my back out. Motrin rocks though! Aside from that, just busy looking for a real job. Playing Guild Wars: Nightfall which is a really good game that you do have to buy but the subscription is free. Which is odd for a MMORPG but it's very unique and different from other online RPGs. Im such a geek lol. I bought these programming books, spent like 100 dollars all together and they don't even come with the program that you need to start programming with! So to get Microsoft .net SDK i need like another 180 dollars. Bah, I might have to work at the detail shop but I know I'm not in shape enough for that so what do I do?!?!?

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 17:21:17 GMT

It's been a while since I've posted. This is mainly due to the fact that my internet is down. It's tough not having the internet up at home I can't really play any of the games that I normally enjoy. I'm at the library right now. So what's new with me? Earlier this month I started college and I'm really liking it already. I'm going for Computer Science. What sucks is that I can't take any computer courses untill I finish this math course. Other than that I'm feeling alot better than I was a few months ago. Life is good now. It's good to feel like I'm actually doing something with my life. I'm going to try and get a part time job here at the new library since they need people. Best wishes to everybody (like anyone reads this anymore lol).

I don't know..

Sun, 14 May 2006 21:04:05 GMT

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 07:21:06 GMT

Yeah that lasted about 10 hours and I smoked again. I'm pathetic and I do indeed hate myself.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 17:22:47 GMT

I can say for the first time in a long time that I'm not a smoker of anything anymore. It feels good to know that I won't be wasting other people's money on bullshit suicide cigarettes. All I want to do is live....

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 15:20:26 GMT

I think I can honestly say for the first time in my life that I'm done feeling sorry for myself. There's so much I regret and there's no way out of this so I just have to play along and pick up a million little pieces.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 21:20:30 GMT

The last month has been the most difficult month of my life. I don't think anyone in the world can identify with what i've been through mentally. I just got out of the hospital again... 9 torturous days... but.. i'm better again now at least. What sucked most was spending Christmas in there... ugh....

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 16:47:21 GMT

I lost my cell phone... or rather someone stole it. Call me at (516) 312-4196.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 16:44:35 GMT

and still no job yet... my expectations are too high man. i think i'm going to start studying for my certification again. once i get that cert i'll have something that employers will want and i'll get good money. It's kinda like after you've tasted the money that hustlin' can net you you can't work near minimum wage jobs and it be enough to pay the bills. So I'll wait I think.. I'll keep applying online and I'm going to college in January for sure. But still... something is missing.